Becoming a Man

                Today David and I met up in the BLUU to chat. We talked about how his wife was doing and how his landscaping job was going. He told me he is glad to be making money, but he tends to spend it all pretty quickly without thinking about saving it. However, his aunt is helping him learn ways to put some of his money away for future use. The thing is, David’s not used to having a ton of money at his disposal, but he’s also not used to working for what he has either. David told me a little story about his transition from his last few months in Colombia to where he is at now.

                When David finalized his decision to come to America to continue his education, he had about a six month period of free time before his arrival here. If you could describe David in one word during this stretch it would be lazy; and he’ll be the first to admit it. He said all he did was sit around, eat and sleep the entire time. All six months. No work, no school, no nothing. Unfortunately he built a bad habit and it stuck when he first got to the states. He continued to be sluggish and disengaged with his schoolwork and life in America, much to the dismay of his aunt.

                One day, David’s aunt just snapped. She looked David right in the face and asked “Who are you?” She told him he wasn’t in Colombia anymore. He couldn’t just follow around his parents and expect to be given everything. This is America now, his parents aren’t with him, and he’s going to have to work for what he’s got. He’s going to have to “become a man,” in her words. This caught David off guard because his aunt is usually a mellow woman. He got to thinking and realized that he could be squandering a really amazing opportunity in his new country. He started focusing up on his schoolwork and really became engaged in his new life.

                This mindset has carried over to David’s recent employment, marriage, and plan to move out and eventually join the Navy. He is beginning to take much more responsibility for himself, learning from his aunt. She has played the crucial role of a motivator and guide in his journey the past few months. She is teaching him how to balance his budget, solve problems, and make reasonable decisions. However, as helpful as she’s been, David still wants to move out and become independent. He told me that if he continues to live with his aunt and uncle, his problems can almost be immediately solved by just asking his aunt and uncle for help. Instead, he wants to be put in a position where he is forced to at least walk through the situation by himself and attempt to make a rational decision on his own. David believes this is his next step in “becoming a man.”

                Hearing David’s story over the past few months and how much he has grown has been astounding. From not knowing a single word of English in July, to getting a job, a wife, his own place, and an exciting future ahead of him. It really is inspiring how he had a change of attitude, from careless and lazy to dedicated and enthusiastic. It almost sounds like something out of a movie. In just a few short months, I bet David has learned more valuable lessons and skills than many TCU students. His journey has in no way been easy and has taken many twists and turns already. I truly admire him for his persistence and growth.

                I don’t think I will truly become a man until I am completely independent and out in the world on my own. I haven’t faced many overwhelming challenges in my life or had to make especially difficult decisions. Or perhaps I have and not necessarily realized it. Either way, it’s scary to think that I’m almost out there on my own, but I know I can take a lot from David’s story and learn from him.